Outsmarting Termites

Thank heavens for wireless internet and laptops because right now I can't seem to get out of bed.

If I were a flower, and I could maybe make a strong case that I am, this is how I'd look. I'll add this to my self-portrait series. I'm so vain. And dehydrated.

My kids are sick too. They are feverish and lethargic and complain about various ailments including hurting ears, sore throats, muscle aches, hot dog fingers, Sims addiction, stiff eyeballs, compulsive whining & chronic entitlement disorder.

Oh wait, some of those are my complaints about them and are not limited to this current virus. Unfortunately their appetites are not affected, and left to their own devices they will strip my cupboards bare in a few hours. Having kids like mine is like living with four termites ranging from 37-110 pounds. I'm kind of wondering what ailments I can introduce into our household that will keep them from eating my entire paycheck.

Speaking of my children and consumption, they have been lobbying for Super Mario Galaxy 2, which is hard for me to want to buy because I'm on a strict budget and they tend to not take care of video games. I don't love the feelings I have inside me when I fork over $50 for a GAME and then I find it laying on the floor clearly having been thrown around and walked on.

I read that successful parenting is deciding what YOU are willing to do, based on how your children act, and then you don't have to worry about it. For example, when I buy popsicles my kids will eat all of them in one day. I got smart and started buying exactly enough that everyone could have one a day for a week. I told them this, and said, you can have them all in one day or make them last but I am only going to buy this many a week. I do that with yogurt too.

It's amazing. I stopped caring how fast they ate them and they started policing themselves and each other. If they want to eat them all in one day I really don't care. I'm only buying so many per week.

See, I may be parenting from my bed right now, meaning when my kids asked for food I told them they were welcome to eat anything for dinner that 1) they already knew how to make and did not experiment with ingredients (ie: no waste), and 2) did not require me to get out of bed for any reason. Really, I feel that crappy. Anyway, my point is, I may be That Kind of Mother right now but I do have some things figured out. Why be enraged by my spoiled entitled kids when I can put that energy toward outsmarting them instead?

Henry has spent months lobbying for this game and finally asked if he contributed all $20 of his birthday money, would I buy the rest. Since his brother will want to play it at least as much as him, I figure it's only fair that he kick in $20 as well. So I told them if they raised the first $40 for the Super Mario Galaxy 2 game, I'd kick in the last $10 and foot the shipping and/or tax. So far I think they have $27.40.  Henry wants to make and decorate a Save-Up-For Box (his words), and Hazel keeps giving me random change to add to the pot. Olivia gets most of her cash doing housework jobs for her dad, and Sam gets most of his by charging Olivia to do things like spider and cobweb removal. I have to admire all of their entrepreneurial gusto. Plus if they come up with $40, I pay $10 and change, and I see the disk on the floor, I won't care.

But I bet some of them will.