You know how offensive and annoying it is when people refer to a man taking care of his own children as babysitting?
Your spouse being out of town does not make you a single parent.
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4 comments to You are not a single parent. Unless you are. |
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Suzanne, that is right! You're not a single parent even if your spouse is gone for a long time (for work or active duty or something like that). It's entirely different when you know…
1- you're sleeping by yourself (every night)
2 – there's no one to talk to about your kids issues who cares quite as much as you do (unless you happen to get along with their father enough that you enjoy talking about this together still).
3- it's tiring and it has no end date
4. there isn't an adult to take care of you when you're worn out or confide in when it's tough (sure you can tell friends but it's not the same as having a spouse – even if they weren't listening anyway).
5 – the financial buck stops with you – esp. if you got as little child support as I do…
Emotionally, financially, & physically it's a totally different feel. I was only a single mom to 1 and I hate admitting how hard it was. Even with a decent relationship with his dad it was hard. I never want to do it again. Also, I give all single parents tons of extra slack. TONS. Now and then.
love
Janet
I'll see someone say that and they get "The Glare" . Somehow, the people I know that are single parents would want it that way but they are too busy being The Parent.
@Janet Thaeler: I'm lucky in that my ex and I share custody 50/50 but in a way it's so hard because it's all or nothing and I can't just take a break mid-kids to take a nap or go to the gym or just have another adult there managing things. And yes, I'm the only one who pays the rent or the utilities, and buys the food, and my kids seem to think I'm the one to go to when they want something. My daughter wants a big huge gift card to Justice for her birthday and for some reason she thinks I'm the only one to ask for it. Why not ask her dad, he makes more than I do! lol It's hard. Mostly it's just the all or nothing nature of it that is hard, hard, hard. And I have good external support in the form of friends to talk to about this!
@Josette: You are awesome, I love how you are champion of things. It's such a great trait.